When one or both partners are survivors of childhood sexual abuse, most couples experience happy, fulfilling, sexually active relationships. Unfortunately, an experience of sexual abuse doesn’t necessarily mean that sex, intimacy and sexual pleasure will always be difficult. Often times, it can actually enhance the experience for both people involved. Here is a look at some of the benefits and challenges that can arise from having regular sex with your partner after suffering from a sexual abuse experience.
First, there can be some surprising and somewhat unexpected benefits to having frequent sex with your partner after being affected by childhood sexual abuse. One of the most common benefits to having frequent sex with your partner is that you will find that your emotional and physical needs are being met very well. This can help to add some balance to your relationship. After all, emotional and physical needs should be balanced in any healthy relationship.
Second, it’s important to be honest with your partner about what happened to you during the time that you were sexually abused. It’s also important to discuss with your partner what has happened since then. This includes talking about any feelings that you have had relating to the abuse, including anger and sadness. In addition, discussing with your partner what your future plans are and how these plans relate to your children. It’s also important to talk with your partner about how the impact of child sexual abuse has impacted your life since the abuse occurred. This type of open dialogue can really help you sort through the memories and emotions that are related to the abuse.
Third, there is some strong evidence that frequent sex after a sexual abuse incident may increase the risk of suffering from an STD or HIV infection. The current study didn’t directly draw the correlation, but they did point out other potential reasons. For example, the abuse could have led to lowered self-esteem and a decreased desire to have intimacy. However, one of the strongest pieces of evidence that the current study actually brought up was that the increased sexual risk is directly proportional to the decreased relationship satisfaction experienced by the partners involved.
That being said, there is an amazing way to sort through the memories of your childhood sexual abuse and to make sure that your sex lives after the event are healthy and fulfilling. That’s by utilizing a Sexual Healing Therapy Sample. This is a 30-page form that will help you create a healing plan for yourself and your spouse. You and your partner will each fill out a couple of pages that details your childhood sexual abuse. Then, you will move into a brief Wave 1 counseling session.
During this time, you will discuss what your child observed as well as any consequences or events that occurred. Each time you and your partner talk about it, you can use this as a jumping off point to discuss the impact of the childhood sexual abuse. As you both move into Wave 2, which is about the impact of the behavior on your life long partners, you can begin to address the negative effects and behaviors. These might include a look at risky sexual behavior, substance abuse, self-destructive behavior, and so forth. As you and your partner work through the different topics, you can share insight into what the treatment plan should entail.
After discussing some of the effects of the behavior and the impact it has on your marriage, you will move into Wave 3 – the positive outcomes. Here, you and your partner will be given resources for parenting and family counseling as well as information about healthy dating and sex. You will also have the opportunity to discuss the different ways that therapy can help, including cognitive behavioral therapy, interpersonal therapy, and so forth. As you and your partner work through the various issues, you can create an environment in which your children do not feel uncomfortable and are able to openly discuss their sexuality. While each of you work through the issues, you can slowly transition from a focus on the childhood sexual abuse to an appreciation of the positive outcomes and healthy relationship that you can build through the experience.
In order for any marriage to be healthy, everyone involved must be willing to make changes. It may take some time and adjustments for each couple, but when they do adjust, it can bring peace and healing into the marriage. When there is an abusive act of some type, it is important that people speak up and report the activities if they are aware of them. If not, there is a chance that other couples will not be open and honest enough to make the necessary accommodations. This is particularly important with the issue of childhood sexual abuse, as the survivors of this often suffer from other negative emotions that can complicate their ability to be honest and open with their partners.
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